


Kathryn's Secret

by MagicalMoon



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Father's Day, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 20:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17453486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMoon/pseuds/MagicalMoon
Summary: Kathryn reflects on a painful memory from her past and decides to finally reveal the truth.





	Kathryn's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why but I came up with this idea when I was listening to the song "Daughters" by John Mayer. All characters mentioned belong to the producers of Voyager, I'm just borrowing them :)

He gave his wife a soft kiss “Good morning my love.” She was on the porch swing sipping coffee. It was a beautiful summer day, and for once it wasn’t unbearably hot. Chakotay sat beside her and took her hand. 

“Are you okay ?” He asked. Today was father’s day, an earth tradition when children would give their father’s gifts and celebrate. This was the first Father’s day Kathryn and Chakotay had spent together, Kathryn told her the story of her father’s death so he assumed today would be a difficult day for her. Supposedly she and her father were extremely close.

Kathryn nodded curtly “I’m fine” Chakotay grew up with many girls in his family, and he knew when a girl said they were “fine” they really weren’t. He stroked her hand with his thumb. He decided he wouldn’t push it and sat with her in silence. 

Chakotay made breakfast for the two of them, but Kathryn only ate a few bites before excluding herself to take a shower and get dressed. 

~~~

As time went by Chakotay found himself becoming more and more concerned about Kathryn’s behavior, she was quiet and withdrawn. When she told him she was going for a walk, he knew he should give her space, but he decided to follow her. At least part of the way. He trailed behind her making sure not to step on anything that may alert Kathryn of his presence. Five minutes later they reached the lake. Chakotay stood behind a tree watching her blankly stare at the sight in front of her. Then he heard a choked sob. He immediately ran to her. Kathryn didn’t even flinch. Instead, she welcomed his embrace and cried into his chest. 

He stroked her back and whispered “oh baby I’m so sorry, I love you so much. I know how much your dad meant to you.” 

“I’m so stupid” she shouted, “I should have confronted him.” 

“I’m sure he knows how much you loved him. I know how much you idolized him.” 

She pulled away and looked at her husband Coldly “I idolized him as a member of Starfleet, nothing else.” 

“But Kathryn, everyone tells me you are just like him. Through and through” she gave him a look he had never seen before. In all the years they’ve known each other this expression was unknown. It was similar to her infamous “death glare,” but it wasn’t intimidating instead it was a mix of intense anger and sadness. 

“I will never be like that bastard,” she said through gritted teeth. 

“Kathryn ?” 

“No one knows Chakotay, not even Mark or Justin.-“ 

Chakotay placed his hand on her shoulder. “You don’t need to talk about it.” 

She nodded “I know but I think I need to talk about it, but let’s go home. I’m not as young as I use to be, I need to sit down.” Chakotay chuckled and picked up his wife bridal style making her laugh. It was music to his ears. 

~~~

“Are you sure you still want to talk about it ?” Kathryn nodded. After returning home, the couple took a shower together and had lunch which much to Chakotay’s relief she ate. Now they sat on the sofa, and Kathryn’s head rested on his lap. 

“I was 16” she began “at that point in my life I was still in High School. I rarely ever saw my dad. I was lucky if I saw him once a week and in passing. I couldn’t help but notice he and my mother had become distant as well. It was as if I didn’t even have a father.” Chakotay heard the quiver in her voice but didn’t acknowledge it. “One day I was let out of class early so I figured I would use this opportunity to visit my father maybe even have dinner with him. I don’t remember a time in my life where I had been so excited. I planned to tell him about my recent math test and how I won my Tennis match. I also planned to go over my research project with him. It was about warp mechanics.” Kathryn took a deep breath and continued “when I got to his office I didn’t see his assistant there. She was just promoted to ensign. She was 8 years older than me I think. She was Very kind, intelligent and beautiful” she whispered the last part. “I decided to just go to his office it was getting a bit late, so I figured he sent her home.” Chakotay heard her gulp “I was about to enter his office, but-but the blinds were shut, and I heard noises.” He felt warm tears soaking through his pants. His fingers ran through her hair. 

“You don’t have to continue darling.” He told his wife who was getting more distraught by the second. 

“I want to” she replied after gaining back her composure. “There was a tiny window that only Phoebe and I knew about. Sometimes we would spy on our father during meetings and whatnot. When I looked in the “secret window” if you will, I saw his assistant sitting on his lap, they were kissing like old lovers.” Kathryn wiped the tears from her eyes. “I planned to tell my mother, but every time I saw that kind smile on her face I couldn’t. It would break her heart. I couldn’t look at my father for weeks and for the first time in my life I was happy he didn’t play a big part. I was determined to confront him and expose his selfishness and disloyalty, but I never had the chance. 

“You’ve been holding this in the whole time ?” He asked with astonishment 

“I guess you could say that” she responded with a shrug “revealing something like this would have destroyed my family. I didn’t want that to happen. I never told Justin because he highly respected my father and as for Mark, my father was like an uncle to him. It would have hurt him in a way too. Now that he’s dead I figured it didn’t matter anymore, but it does. My god, it’s sickening.” Kathryn sat up and sighed “thank you for dealing with me.” He looked at her red eyes and red nose as he lifted her chin. Their lips met in a tender kiss. “I love you so much” she whispered. 

“Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, you never cease to amaze me. I’ve known many people in my life, but you are the strongest person I’ve ever met.” 

“Which is why I need to tell mom the truth. I can’t hide this from her anymore. Whenever she talks about my dad, it’s as if she worships him. Her love for him was infinite. It’s not fair” Chakotay pulled at his earlobe, something he always did when he was nervous. “Are you sure this is what you want to do ?” 

Kathryn hesitated for a brief moment before nodding “yes I’m sure, as her daughter I need to tell her the truth. I’ll go next weekend. 

~~~

The week flew by, during the day she occupied Her time with work and at night she and Chakotay made love until they fell asleep. Kathryn did anything to keep her mind off the task she would have to perform on Saturday. 

Saturday morning they headed to the transport station early each holding a duffle bag. The couple decided they would stay in Indiana for the weekend. Chakotay held her hand the entire time. “I’ll let you talk to your mother alone, but I’m here. I love you my Kathryn.”

About 20 minutes later they arrived at a very humid station in Bloomington Indiana. Luckily the walk from the station to Gretchen’s house was only five minutes away. It gave Kathryn some time to think about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. Gretchen was waiting on the porch for her daughter and son-in-law. She hugged Kathryn and did the same to Chakotay. “It’s stifling out here, come inside.” 

The three adults sat at the kitchen table where they were eating sandwiches for lunch. The eldest Janeway had one rule at her dinner table which was all Starfleet business stays outside. They talked about the dog the couple was planning to adopt and Kathryn’s feeble attempts at gardening. Chakotay and Gretchen also brainstormed some ideas for his next sand painting. After cleaning the dishes, Chakotay told the ladies that he had a missed call from Sekaya and was going to call her back before she got worried. This was Kathryn’s moment to reveal her secret to her mother. When he was gone Kathryn poured herself and her mother each a glass of lemonade before sitting down at the kitchen table. She took a deep breath 

“Mama, can I talk to you” there was no going back now. 

Gretchen regarded her daughter with concern “of course baby, is everything okay between you and Chakotay?” 

Kathryn chuckled “yes, everything is fine between us. He’s the love of my life” she saw her mother smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Mama, I have to tell you something.” 

“This sounds serious, don’t tell me you're going back to space.” 

“No mama.” 

Gretchen clasped her hands over her mouth “are you dying!”

The younger woman rolled her eyes “no Mama, let me finish.” 

She raises her arms in defeat “Okay okay.” 

“You know how I use to visit daddy at work sometimes.” 

“Mhm,” she murmured as she took a sip of her lemonade. 

“Well, one time when I went to visit him. The lights were off, and his assistant wasn't there, so you know me curious Kathryn, I went to his office anyway and um I saw daddyhavingsexwithher” Gretchen placed her hand on her daughter’s “Kathryn please repeat the last part. You know I’m old and can’t hear as well as I use to.” 

Kathryn felt the tears welling in her eyes and looked down “I saw daddy having sex with his assistant.” When she dared to look up, she saw her mother’s skin was pale, and her eyes were wide. She got up and ran over to her “I’m so sorry Mama” she cried. Gretchen rubbed Kathryn’s back soothingly “baby girl you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” 

Kathryn pulled away from her mother quickly “ what? Why?” 

“You weren’t supposed to find out. I thought your father and I did everything we could to prevent you and Phoebe from knowing.” 

“Wait, so you knew!” The younger Janeway asked in astonishment. 

Gretchen nodded “ things were changing between your father and I so I confronted him. He came clean, and after some couple’s therapy and a romantic interlude our relationship was stronger than ever.” 

Kathryn smirked, “please do tell mother.” 

“You were at the academy and Phoebe was staying with your grandparents. Your father and I went to Paris. He was an admiral on shore leave and me just a lady on vacation. It was our last attempt to kindle that spark that we once had, and it worked.” 

Kathryn grinned “I did notice you and Daddy became a lot closer. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want to tell you. You seemed so happy.” Gretchen kissed her daughter’s hands “I was in love, your father was the love of my life. When he died, I knew I wouldn’t be able to love anyone else as much as I loved him.” 

Kathryn wiped the tears she didn’t know she shed. Her mother was indeed the strongest person she knew. After her father died, she never cried in front of her or Phoebe. She was always optimistic and full of hope. But now Kathryn knew her mother must have been in so much pain. She decided to change the subject before any more depressing thoughts entered her mind. “So, Mama tell me more about your romantic interlude.” 

“It was wonderful Katie, your father was sitting at a cafe in Paris, and I dropped my purse which he picked up for me. I took in his appearance like I did the first time. He was as handsome as he was the day I really met him. We got to know each other through dinner dates and such.” 

“Did you and Daddy stay in the same room?” 

Gretchen shook her head “we each stayed in different rooms that were located on different floors. It wasn’t until the 5th date that we decided to make love, I’ll spare you the details.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes “Thanks, I appreciate it” As Gretchen was about to continue they heard the front door open. 

“I’m back” Chakotay shouted. 

“In here” the women answered simultaneously.

He went to go give his wife a hug, but she pushed him away, “get away from me you sweaty oaf and go take a shower.” 

“Only if you join me” her husband responded as he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

She crossed her arms “Keep dreaming commander.” 

The older woman chuckled “you’re young and in love, enjoy every moment. I need to set up the guest bedroom” she winked and headed upstairs. 

Kathryn jumped up “Oh, I have an idea for our next vacation.” 

“Is that so? Well, I would love to hear about it. After our shower” Chakotay lifted her up and carried her to the bathroom. They no longer cared about his sweaty-ness. 

Kathryn would never have thought that revealing her secret would reaffirm her love for her husband and his love for her.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this short story. I tried not to have a happy ending but I couldn't stop myself. Your comments and kudos are what motivate me to keep posting my work :)


End file.
